Around 5.30am, on a small street facing East. The sun is about to break over the horizon. Everything is quiet, humid and uncomfortable. It'll be in the high 90's today, and this is as comfortable as the day will be. Within a couple hours this street will be noisy, loud and rushed. People will be prowling for parking, and enough meter time to get dry cleaning dropped off and a few gift cards to send. By noon it'll rain, monsoons of water. This street will be flooded, and hard to cross on foot. Just beyond the far building is a canal. It'll heave with big boats, to cumbersome for their own good. On the docks, 3' long Iguana, too menacing to pass, to ugly to ignore. This is South Florida. It is as rippled and worn as this picture, as indiscernible as it's image. It isn't what it appears to be.
Darling Brother.
ReplyDeleteI finally get it.
I can no longer be called and my doors are locked (not to the world, just to those who would intrude).
I will never again accuse or assume or try to adjust another to suit my corrupted view.
PLEASE accept my apologies for that which I never caused? I AM still growing up. It is slow and hard and frightening but it is ME.
My goal for this last third (fingers crossed) of my life is to be observant and disconnected from all that tried to shape me.
I made a list of the people who are important enough to me to call family. 12 or 13 friends that lasted and will last, my daughter, our 2nd cousin Doug, our nephew Eli, you.
Please email me and I will just listen or just talk but I won't listen to how fucked up other people are (already got that) and I will only talk about what's vital to me... Sophie, Eli, Doug, You, Val (I rally miss him).
Okay there's a bit more to me than that but please, David, I'll be 50 soon and I really have grown up a little. Give me a chance? I miss you!
Jo
PS: The outline is done but the book is still in the works, need a better editor...
I'm sorry about posting here but your email, like mine is a bust. delete asap Jo.lastname@gmail.com
ReplyDelete